I work on a playground

Last night, I finally watched the show. I wanted to watch it as a true audience member, since I know everything that happens next and that I also know everyone in the cast and crew pretty well too. I paid attention to how the audience was reacting and jotted down alot of what they said, the comments they would make to each other, the reactions on their faces, how they moved throughout the space, and how they danced. I wondered during certain moments why would they laugh, scream, or even kiss each other.

It didn't take the audience long to feel suspended from reality. I sort of forgot that they're going through a journey as they watch the show unfold, but I soon realized that they were already captured in the moments of Fuerzabruta when Daniel was walking on the treadmill...the audience last night was with him on each and every step he took. There was a woman behind me who told her other friends, "I saw a different guy last time...I can't believe they switch around roles...wow, this guy is really good." Other people were talking, some people where chuckling, some people would look at their friends with their eyebrows raised. Then the corridor was shot and fell dead. I always wondered why people would laugh or cheer when he's dead, and last night, I believed they saw themselves with Daniel, or as Daniel, the corridor. And maybe they wanted to run away or run to something in their own lives. Perhaps the emotions proceeding the gun shot resulted in a sense of relief which the audience communicated through raised eyebrows, screams, laughter...and some didn't even know what to do with their body and became as stiff as a board and remained speechless.

Personas started happening and the woman behind me said, "There's the guy who did it last time," It was Josh. "He was really good too." I watched all four of you fall off the back end. To me, you each of had your own mini monologue that related to your own personal lives. I put that story there because I know all four of you. So in a way, you too are like the corridor, each of you with history, each of you with a future...and in the present, you are here now, dealing with walking, the crowd, and finding an end to your own personal madness and falling dead off the back end...and then deciding to get up again. You're all strangers, and you all eventually leave. Daniel remains on his journey, busting through doors, running at top speed and got shot...AGAIN. But this time, he remained standing.

For me, this was the most puzzling moment in the show. Why are you still standing? What are you thinking about? What's your motivation and intentions for just standing there "this time"? Why did Diqui direct the corridors to just stand at this moment? I have the luxury of asking Daniel after the show, or I can even call or email him today or tomorrow and ask him questions or any of you about that exact moment. Shit, I can even call Diqui if I feel like it and ask the creator right now if I wanted to. I'm lucky, we're lucky that we can do that, but that's not the point.

I didn't realize until this morning what that moment meant for me. To put it simply, we're not just actors here. I don't even see us actors in a theater. We are Rose dealing with living in NYC again, Freddy having a court date in LA next week, Josh saying goodbye to Michelle for a few months, and Gwyn turning the world into a greener place. We can get through anything, through extreme weather conditions, through faulty doors, with weird clown costumes, through loud gunshots, through water, through mid air, with heart aches, a new puppy, a new love, a new apartment, with language barriers, through bad times and good ones too in any country on any given day, even on holidays. Damn it, we are fucking bad ass people!!!

As I'm watching the rest of the show, I didn't want to forget what the audience is going through. I was going through my journey, maybe with more details defined because I'm on this journey with you every day. But they are here for the first time because they want to be here, and paid a lot of money to be here, because they want to participate in this hour long journey with us. And some come back with their friends and others with their cameras. They are reacting to how we are feeling when we walk, run, swim, dance. They were so happy to receive the invitation...and we're here to basically forget our lives for an hour, and to hopefully give them an amazing hour of their week.

The audience gets to witness us fall in love (TV), they watch how we start and end our day (corridor). They watch how we get excited about each other (cortinas) and how we party with each other (murga). They see us when we need to fight for survival (Vela) and watch us as we grow up to be women (mylar). In the end, we're a team, a small community of actors, climbers and crew that are on this journey together and help each other when we fall (corridor final).

The feeling I have when I bow with this group is tremendous. It really is an honor to be a part of this talented group of once strangers, and now life long friends.

As the cast and crew danced with the audience, you can see how elated the audience enjoyed receiving the invitation to dance, which was very sublte. And more over, those that took the invitation in the center really enjoyed getting wet. When the cast and the crew left the stage, the music kept playing while the audience kept dancing. Those that did stay, danced a tango, exchanged contact information and took pictures with each other and of the set.

When I went downstairs, reality sort of sunk in again. I was astonished about the mental journey I had just been on. It was kind of weird saying hello to Zack, Jon, Amy and Freddy because I couldn't believe this was my job. We, as a team, get to make audiences feel emotions that they might not normally arrive to on their own...and in my case, my feelings were indescribable. The feelings I had were awesome. When I watched how people react to the cast with laughter and dance, I'm just truly, truly amazed with the powers we as humans can have to brighten the day of complete strangers.