http://cw11.trb.com/news/local/morningnews/wpix-trulyjulie-updates,0,3958046.htmlstory?coll=wpix-morning-news-1
The lovely Julie Cheng interviewed Daniel Case and me for the morning news. She gave us some high props!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Monday, December 3, 2007
50th Wedding Anniversary
This is a photo of my parents on their wedding day on Dec. 22, 1957.
I printed this photo on 100% cotton archival unbleached paper which accompanied a 5 page golden wedding anniversary invitation laced in gold traditional fonts designed on my Mac and printed through my Canon Pixma MP210 (developed on Gwyn's HP 2100 and originally tested on Julia's dinasaur HP). Wrapped it all up in golden leafed rice paper, with trimmings cut with an exacto knife (which I had to prove I was at least 21 years old in order to purchase it.....score!), even tailored the trim with my secret cutting technique so that each formal dressing was original to its future owner, and then sealed it with an embossed "M" golden mongram. Packaged this into another larger envelope, lined in gold metalics, and was hand addressed by me to each recipient in a danelian/caligraphy style that I first learned in elementary school and have been developing slowly ever since. Put a 58 cent heart stamp on it and snail mailed it off somewhere in the country by dropping it all off in a blue box at the post office at the corner.
Took me a good 10 days to figure out what exactly I was doing and complete since all the major invitation companies (Papyrus, Kate's and Arthur's) shot down most of the ideas I had because they couldn't complete my order in any less than 2 weeks, possibly 3. By the time I gathered all the politcally correct paper (or should I say "sheets") and necessary cutting tools that I was old enough to buy (the sales people made my day and gave me a great idea for a story!), I'm hoping my parents will love the wedding anniversary invitation I created for them. They should have received it today at their Floridian residence.
Bowery Poetry Club
Bowery Poetry Club Open Mic hosted on the first Sunday of every month by John Oyzon. Josh Kobak and his friends and Some Friends of Mine played another delightful evening.
Margaret Cho's show
Ryan Heffington, Jon and Gwyn's friend from LA, had been peforming in her show while it was on 42nd Street.
Daryl Roth Theater now
Its a very beautiful building. Funny to think I spend more time here than at my home.
Truly Julie on CW11
Daniel Case and I did an interview for CW11 Morning news which will air tomorrow at 750AM.
Jeslyn in Fuerzabruta
Jeslyn Kelly, my friend and co-founder of 2nd Species, will be in Fuerzabruta for the next six weeks. This is us in the dressing room before her premiere in the pieces Cortinas and Corridor Finale. She's one fierce chica!!!
Friends since birth
That's Gwyn, Rachel and Ramona. They're not sisters, but have known each other since birth. Pretty cool. We're celebrating Ramona's birthday at one of our favs, Galaxy in Union Square.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
My first snow fall on Ludlow
My friend called me this morning with a super happy chipper voice, "Do you have a window in your bedroom?"
I said in my low groggy voice, "I do have a window in my bedroom."
"Go look outside!"
It was snowing. In fact it is snowing right now. All I can think about is its going to be cold!
After talking throughout the day with a few people about the snow, seems like I'm the only one in my crew that didn't welcome change. ARGH.
I said in my low groggy voice, "I do have a window in my bedroom."
"Go look outside!"
It was snowing. In fact it is snowing right now. All I can think about is its going to be cold!
After talking throughout the day with a few people about the snow, seems like I'm the only one in my crew that didn't welcome change. ARGH.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Some Friends of Mine
"Some Friends of Mine" is the name of the band and played last night at 169 Bar on 169 E. Broadway, NYC.
Opened with:
Collin Couvillon vocals/guitar
John Oyzon guitar
John Hartzell bass
Shaneca Adams drums
*They switched up vocals and added Jason Novak on harmonica to a few songs.
My friends are so talented!
Gwyn, Billy, Coco, Jonette, Ben and myself were in the audience, along with some 80's hipsters that couldn't stop dancing to "Some of My Friends" band.
Great thing about NYC, you can show up at this bar hungry. Everyone wants something different, but ask the bartender and she'll help you find a find a restaurant that soothes your taste buds and delivers. She had a stacks of menus wrapped in rubber bands. Each stack was designated with food type: Italian, Indian, American, Asian, etc. While you wait, she'll pour a glass of your favorite red wine. Before my friends played, my meal from India was served and complimented with a smooth California red wine in a nice tall glass.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Peggy Su Photography
Peggy took some great shots of our show, Fuerzabruta.
On the opening page, click photography, then Fuerzabruta.
On the opening page, click photography, then Fuerzabruta.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Bridgette and Adam ROCK!!!
They've already done what I wanted to do....all the reviews in one place!!!
http://fuerzabrutanyc.com/press.html
Plus they're both the GREATEST AND CUTEST PRESS AGENTS EVER!!!!!!!!!!
They are from the Karpel Group...check out the site:
http://thekarpelgroup.com
http://fuerzabrutanyc.com/press.html
Plus they're both the GREATEST AND CUTEST PRESS AGENTS EVER!!!!!!!!!!
They are from the Karpel Group...check out the site:
http://thekarpelgroup.com
New York Post Review
FUERZABRUTA IS DAZZLING BLEND OF EROTIC, HYPNOTIC, AQUATIC
By FRANK SCHECK
Women in a suspended pool descend close to the "Fuerzabruta" crowd.
October 25, 2007 -- IN "Fuerzabruta" - the latest extravaganza from creators of the hit "De La Guarda" - the audience is not only forced to stand, but is also periodically herded through the playing area like cattle, doused with water, buffeted by wind and sprayed with Styrofoam.
If it's any consolation, what the performers go through is even more grueling.
Not for nothing does the title translate to "Brute Force."
Fortunately, for the young of both heart and body, the show offers plenty of dazzling theatrical and sensory pleasures as well. And while "Fuerzabruta" - which feels like a rave on acid - isn't exactly profound, it's undeniably spectacular.
The central defining image, repeated numerous times, is that of a well-dressed businessman running in place on a giant elevated treadmill. Despite powerful blasts of wind and walls that appear out of nowhere, he soldiers on - even as shots are fired and other figures drop all around him.
A procession of memorable set pieces quickly follows. A man clings to the underside of a suspended water tank, mirroring the quick movements of the woman swimming above him. A giant Mylar curtain swiftly surrounds the audience, with two female performers speedily running on it high above our heads.
Most stunningly, a giant acrylic pool gradually descends from the ceiling until it's close enough to touch. In it are several scantily clad performers whose highly vigorous gyrations and close interaction with the audience members make for an erotic aquatic ballet.
The athletic performers, not to mention the hardworking stagehands who move the massive scenery elements into place with blazing speed and efficiency, deserve kudos for their exertions.
Then again, so do the mainly young and clearly enthusiastic audience members, most of whom continued to dance to the throbbing techno music for several minutes after the performance ended.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Fun Monday night
Today, I woke up at 2 PM.
Cleaned my house, got ready for rehearsal and arrived on time at 430 PM. Should have been there earlier but that didn't happen.
Rehearsed one of my favorite pieces EVER called "La Vela".
Luckily, the rehearsal went well, and Tamara, one of our captains, offered me the glorious chance to perform the piece in the show that night.
The piece could have lasted so much longer, I had a BLAST!!! I performed the piece with Freddy Bosche, and the crew below was TA, Wes, Johnny and Tincho. It felt so right, every section, I felt so honored to perform this piece tonight, YAY!
My friends Johnny O and Coco were in the audience with friends. That helped a lot too!
Afterwards, a group of us went to one of my favorite restaurant's in NYC, La Creperie, on 8th St. between 1st and A. We were headed for Yaffa Cafe, but the wait was too long. By total chance we ended up at the French place. They were about to close, but when they saw 8 of us walk in , they stayed open for another 2 hours and treated us with excellent food and service.
We went to another place on 8th/St. Marks...65 St. Mark's? Can't remember the name. The lovely Veronica just happen to cross paths with us and hung out a bit.
From there, we went swing dancing at Banjo Jim's on Ave C and 9th St. I saw some of the best tap dancing I'd seen in the longest time. Gwyn and I were inspired. Ramona Staffeld was there too. She was actually the reason why were there. What a blast! Swing, lindsay hopping, drinks and all...we were game!
Party on the move...headed down to the Lower East Side to another bar called Milano's to hear Duran Duran, David Bowie, James and Blur on the jukebox. Danced however we felt like: I'm not exactly sure what to call it. Only 4 of us were in the bar. Because Kate was a regular, drinks and chips were on the house.
Oh what a night!
Cleaned my house, got ready for rehearsal and arrived on time at 430 PM. Should have been there earlier but that didn't happen.
Rehearsed one of my favorite pieces EVER called "La Vela".
Luckily, the rehearsal went well, and Tamara, one of our captains, offered me the glorious chance to perform the piece in the show that night.
The piece could have lasted so much longer, I had a BLAST!!! I performed the piece with Freddy Bosche, and the crew below was TA, Wes, Johnny and Tincho. It felt so right, every section, I felt so honored to perform this piece tonight, YAY!
My friends Johnny O and Coco were in the audience with friends. That helped a lot too!
Afterwards, a group of us went to one of my favorite restaurant's in NYC, La Creperie, on 8th St. between 1st and A. We were headed for Yaffa Cafe, but the wait was too long. By total chance we ended up at the French place. They were about to close, but when they saw 8 of us walk in , they stayed open for another 2 hours and treated us with excellent food and service.
We went to another place on 8th/St. Marks...65 St. Mark's? Can't remember the name. The lovely Veronica just happen to cross paths with us and hung out a bit.
From there, we went swing dancing at Banjo Jim's on Ave C and 9th St. I saw some of the best tap dancing I'd seen in the longest time. Gwyn and I were inspired. Ramona Staffeld was there too. She was actually the reason why were there. What a blast! Swing, lindsay hopping, drinks and all...we were game!
Party on the move...headed down to the Lower East Side to another bar called Milano's to hear Duran Duran, David Bowie, James and Blur on the jukebox. Danced however we felt like: I'm not exactly sure what to call it. Only 4 of us were in the bar. Because Kate was a regular, drinks and chips were on the house.
Oh what a night!
Latest in Playbill
High Flying, Adored: Fuerzabruta Extends Off-Broadway Through June
By Ernio Hernandez
08 Nov 2007
Note to producers: Order more breakaway walls and pay water bill. The new theatrical spectacle Fuerzabruta (Brute Force), by the creators of De La Guarda, has extended its Off-Broadway run through June 29.
The new show began performances Oct. 11 and opened Oct. 24 at the former home of De La Guarda, the Daryl Roth Theatre, The originally scheduled 18-week run through Feb. 17, 2008, has now been extended through June 29, production spokespersons confirmed to Playbill.com.
De La Guarda's Diqui James (co-founder/co-creator) and Gaby Kerpel (composer/musical director) again "push the boundaries of theatrical creativity, motivation and innovation," according to a press statement. Fuerzabruta (Brute Force) "breaks free from the confines of spoken language and theatrical convention [where] both performers and audience are immersed in an environment that floods the senses, evoking pure visceral emotion in a place where individual imagination soars."
Featured performers include Hallie Bulleit, Freddy Bosche, Daniel Case, Michael Hollick, Joshua Kobak, Gwyneth Larsen, Tamara Levinson, Rose Mallare, Brooke Miyasaki, Jon Morris, Jason Novak, Marlyn Ortiz and Kepani Salgado-Ramos.
Among visuals to be expected: "A man runs full throttle through a series of moving walls, individuals race to connect from opposite sides of a whirling sail and performers frolic and interact in a watery world suspended just above the audience."
Fans who remember De La Guarda can plan to enjoy a similar, yet completely new experience as the action is set to "percussive beats, engaging melodies and hypnotic ambient music."
Also returning from the original team are Alejandro Garcia (technical director) and Fabio Daquila (production supervisor),
Fuerzabruta first played in Buenos Aires in 2005 and has also performed in Lisbon, London, Buenos Aires, Bogota and is slated to be part of the 2007 Edinburgh Fringe Festival with runs in Berlin and Hamburg to follow.
Concert Productions International (CPI), Ozono Productions and David Binder Productions produce the New York run.
American Express cardholders now have access to the new block of tickets, which will go on public sale Nov. 22.
Tickets to Fuerzabruta (Brute Force) at the Daryl Roth Theatre, 20 Union Square East (at 15th Street), can be purchased by calling (212) 239-6200 or at the box office. A limited number of $25 (cash-only) rush tickets will be made available two
By Ernio Hernandez
08 Nov 2007
Note to producers: Order more breakaway walls and pay water bill. The new theatrical spectacle Fuerzabruta (Brute Force), by the creators of De La Guarda, has extended its Off-Broadway run through June 29.
The new show began performances Oct. 11 and opened Oct. 24 at the former home of De La Guarda, the Daryl Roth Theatre, The originally scheduled 18-week run through Feb. 17, 2008, has now been extended through June 29, production spokespersons confirmed to Playbill.com.
De La Guarda's Diqui James (co-founder/co-creator) and Gaby Kerpel (composer/musical director) again "push the boundaries of theatrical creativity, motivation and innovation," according to a press statement. Fuerzabruta (Brute Force) "breaks free from the confines of spoken language and theatrical convention [where] both performers and audience are immersed in an environment that floods the senses, evoking pure visceral emotion in a place where individual imagination soars."
Featured performers include Hallie Bulleit, Freddy Bosche, Daniel Case, Michael Hollick, Joshua Kobak, Gwyneth Larsen, Tamara Levinson, Rose Mallare, Brooke Miyasaki, Jon Morris, Jason Novak, Marlyn Ortiz and Kepani Salgado-Ramos.
Among visuals to be expected: "A man runs full throttle through a series of moving walls, individuals race to connect from opposite sides of a whirling sail and performers frolic and interact in a watery world suspended just above the audience."
Fans who remember De La Guarda can plan to enjoy a similar, yet completely new experience as the action is set to "percussive beats, engaging melodies and hypnotic ambient music."
Also returning from the original team are Alejandro Garcia (technical director) and Fabio Daquila (production supervisor),
Fuerzabruta first played in Buenos Aires in 2005 and has also performed in Lisbon, London, Buenos Aires, Bogota and is slated to be part of the 2007 Edinburgh Fringe Festival with runs in Berlin and Hamburg to follow.
Concert Productions International (CPI), Ozono Productions and David Binder Productions produce the New York run.
American Express cardholders now have access to the new block of tickets, which will go on public sale Nov. 22.
Tickets to Fuerzabruta (Brute Force) at the Daryl Roth Theatre, 20 Union Square East (at 15th Street), can be purchased by calling (212) 239-6200 or at the box office. A limited number of $25 (cash-only) rush tickets will be made available two
Friday, November 16, 2007
The Unlovables
My friend, Hallie Bulleit, this is her punk rock band, The Unlovables. On sale at iTunes and Virgin Mega Store.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Confidentiality
Confidentiality, or secrets, is both important and annoying. Important for many reasons: no leaking of peritinent information for one. Annoying because I have no idea when I'm supposed to show up at my new job until the last minute.
I'm psyched though, I'm opening up a cool new store in the meat packing district. I'll be the first person you see at the door.
I'm psyched though, I'm opening up a cool new store in the meat packing district. I'll be the first person you see at the door.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Tickled
with my new monitor!!! And I haven't even received it yet!!!
http://accessories.us.dell.com/sna/productdetail.aspx?c=us&l=en&s=dhs&cs=19&sku=320-6140
After hours of searching, days of waiting, its going to come on FRIDAY!!! Hopefully sooner if possible :o)
I asked around and got the advice from my favorite Andwew's, Williams and Barracas. "It's the same panel," they both said. In fact, even on the website, Dell displays a similiar Mac image on the desktop. Interesting choice. Well, I'm going to miss not having that delicious Apple logo on my desk, but maybe I can do something goofy to it.
I'm going to love the camera and microphone on it. After reading one of the reviews, someone said it works seamlessly with PhotoBooth and iChat...YAY! The review was written prior to the Leopard release, which I don't even have yet, but hopefully there won't be an issue. And its already built into the system. So instead of buying an iSight for my system as well as taking up additioinal space, its already built in!
Its been such a drag booting my tower's HD to my lil G3. The G3 guy did as best as it could. I won't make you work so hard anymore G3, the monitor will be here Friday, if not sooner! And then you'll be able to entertain with us at the theater in your new home ;o)
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Video clips from Fuerzabruta and De La Guarda
Fuerzabruta Trailer
DeLaGuarda (Ricoletta set up?)
Fuerzabruta piee "Mylar" - NYC opening night previews! (I think)
Looks like Tamara, Brooke, Gwyn, and ___________
DeLaGuarda (Ricoletta set up?)
Fuerzabruta piee "Mylar" - NYC opening night previews! (I think)
Looks like Tamara, Brooke, Gwyn, and ___________
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Same place, different year
The Blogger picture was taken July 2006. These pictures were taken this week on different days, October 2007, at the same place, Apple 5th Ave.
Injured
Its tough being human.
Why? Because sometimes the body has to heal after injury. Yeah, I'm fricken injured and it sucks. During one of the acts, La Vela, my foot got tangled in the skirt and my body slammed into the mylar. My ankle grunted most of the pain. I went to the ER that night. I was sure I didn't brake it because it wasn't terribly swollen, but I did feel a few things pop on impact, which is sometimes worse.
I've been going to physical therapy for about a week now with "my personal Jesus", Mark Hunter-Hall. My mind is all ready to go back in the show and perform. He's been giving me exercises to help heal it, massaging it, icing it and even specific instructions on what I should do to it on a daily basis when he's not around. He's healed a plethora of injuries on me and countless others too. He just knows how to deal with egotistical physical actors who think than can do superhuman tricks on a regular basis.
See, in my head, I can do anything. But my ankle isn't responding with the finesse that I want it to. Because nature takes its time, I am frustrated.
This brings me back to an article that Mikey sent to me, on how we are here (on earth) to have a physical experience, not necessarily a spiritual one. The article is called Perspectives: You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body. by C.S. Lewis. Mikey, Freddy, Juan-Martin, Daniel and I were lamenting on the topic in the men's dressing room discussing views of life and death for a few minutes during a rehearsal break. It certainly made us think. Of course this lovely conversation that could have easily gone into the twilight hours, but quit because rehearsal began. I've actually been revisiting the statement every day since. Which somehow brings me back to where I am right now, today, being somewhat confused on why the healing process must take so long.
Daily chores have been challenging. Even just as I am waking up, I'll point my feet in my bed to see if they crack right. I've been missing that good crack because every day since I've sprained it, it aches when I point. I can't even fully point it. And until I can point it right, that being my first movement of the day, I know immediately that it hasn't been healed. (Thank God I haven't gotten the loft bed yet. I couldn't imagine climbing ladders to get in and out of bed right now.) Even walking to and from work, climbing stairs in either the bus or subway, is such a hassle. ARGH. These are among the little things that make NYC living so hard.
My friends have been really great during this process. Brookie made me a wonderful dinner last night, which fueled both my body and my soul. (In fact, I'm having the left over right now.) Everyone in the theater (cast, crew, creators, ushers, house, production) is always asking my progress, wondering if I'm alright. Most the time I can fake it, I'll respond with a smile and say, "I'm fine, getting better. Thanks for asking!"
Not until today did I realize I had been bottling up my sorrow. Hallie asked me in the women's dressing room if I was really alright, just her and I were in there, and my eyes nearly welt. I could tell she was trying to scratch the surface.
Then Gwynnie soon entered the room, my soul sister, and I just didn't want to loose it while I was at the theater, so I left the room and recanted to a lonely bathroom stall away from everyone else for some privacy. The presence of certain friends surely have a powerful effect sometimes, especially when words haven't yet been exchanged.
I think Tamara and Marlyn most have convened. If not actually, then spiritually. I respect their talents so much and pretty much trust most everything of what they say when it comes to their crafts. On separate occasions during the day, they both made a comment that I should talk to Diqui James, the artistic director, directly so he knows exactly what's going on. It was the hierarchy of angels working again (sometimes the younger ones call you to get to speak the older ones... hmmmm...). Like C.S. Lewis said, we're spirits having a physical experience.
So when I mustered up the confidence and energy, I went upstairs to the theater to see if Diqui had a moment to spare. We caught eyes, cool, and I had hoped that he'd come towards my direction when he was done with his meeting, and he did!
As soon as he came walking towards me, I smiled. "Diqui, I just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry I'm injured right now." Before I could finish the sentence, my eyes overflowed with tears. I couldn't believe I was crying. I thought I was strong, but I had no idea my barrier would come crashing down. I sort of couldn't believe I was having this moment right then. I didn't expect to cry while I was talking to Diqui, it just sort of happened.
I felt so lucky that our artistic director was super cool AND human AND gave me a hug as I cried. "I hate feeling like this," I said in a strange voice, "I hate being injured."
His response was, "Yes, I know. Its so hard to be human sometimes. We want to be super heros, but sometimes we are only human." That made me laugh. "I've been injured too. I understand what you must be going through." I believed him.
I must admit that being injured is embarrassing to me. Its so awkward. When you're put in a situation where you're expected to perform with the cream of the crop, the selected few, and you fall under because your body can't provide you with the actions you really want to be doing, its maddening to all hell!
I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I have accept this experience somehow. I just have to go through with it. If my perspective should be equated with C.S. Lewis' idea, then I have to look around and attempt to see the bigger picture. In essence, create my philosophy, I guess.
Maybe I'll get to perform tomorrow. Maybe I won't. Maybe I won't perform until after we open on Oct. 24. I'd love to make the assumption of when, but I guess I'm not the one who makes that call am I.
I'm not the first to have an injury, nor will I be the last. In fact, my brother and my nephew are injured right now too. They both are going through a surgical process to heal their sport injuries. Why is this happening at the same time for my family? Its all part of life's process. Coincidence is a concept I try to read into. So I figured I must talk aloud about my experience because I don't know what else to do with these thoughts. Its important to me to be helpful to my family as well as my friends.
That moment of telling Diqui what was going on in my mind was so freeing. Injury is a part of life, my life, everyones life. Its an experience that humans go through, a thought that he reminded me of. Its these types of moments that us define as human, perhaps even define us as individuals and how we cope.
So I guess this is how I heal. I needed to communicate to someone I trusted what I was going through. It was what I needed to do to get better. This is how I delt with my problem.
Together, Diqui and I figured out a track in the show I could have once I was ready. We even discussed how my costume would help cover my taped ankle. When the conversation was over, I was satisfied. The mental weight of the injury had been lifted.
I've discovered that it may be important to share this problem, whoever's reading. Because once we can show each other that we're vulnerable, that we each have our breaking points, we can teach each other how to move forward, how to get better and work better.
Lastly, when I left the theater tonight, three Artistic Coordinators (trainers), Laura, Martin and Juan-Martin, were hanging outside the theater door. I told them that I might be back in the show tomorrow. They where happy for my optimism, and politely said, "...if not, then wait. That's OK too."
Why? Because sometimes the body has to heal after injury. Yeah, I'm fricken injured and it sucks. During one of the acts, La Vela, my foot got tangled in the skirt and my body slammed into the mylar. My ankle grunted most of the pain. I went to the ER that night. I was sure I didn't brake it because it wasn't terribly swollen, but I did feel a few things pop on impact, which is sometimes worse.
I've been going to physical therapy for about a week now with "my personal Jesus", Mark Hunter-Hall. My mind is all ready to go back in the show and perform. He's been giving me exercises to help heal it, massaging it, icing it and even specific instructions on what I should do to it on a daily basis when he's not around. He's healed a plethora of injuries on me and countless others too. He just knows how to deal with egotistical physical actors who think than can do superhuman tricks on a regular basis.
See, in my head, I can do anything. But my ankle isn't responding with the finesse that I want it to. Because nature takes its time, I am frustrated.
This brings me back to an article that Mikey sent to me, on how we are here (on earth) to have a physical experience, not necessarily a spiritual one. The article is called Perspectives: You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body. by C.S. Lewis. Mikey, Freddy, Juan-Martin, Daniel and I were lamenting on the topic in the men's dressing room discussing views of life and death for a few minutes during a rehearsal break. It certainly made us think. Of course this lovely conversation that could have easily gone into the twilight hours, but quit because rehearsal began. I've actually been revisiting the statement every day since. Which somehow brings me back to where I am right now, today, being somewhat confused on why the healing process must take so long.
Daily chores have been challenging. Even just as I am waking up, I'll point my feet in my bed to see if they crack right. I've been missing that good crack because every day since I've sprained it, it aches when I point. I can't even fully point it. And until I can point it right, that being my first movement of the day, I know immediately that it hasn't been healed. (Thank God I haven't gotten the loft bed yet. I couldn't imagine climbing ladders to get in and out of bed right now.) Even walking to and from work, climbing stairs in either the bus or subway, is such a hassle. ARGH. These are among the little things that make NYC living so hard.
My friends have been really great during this process. Brookie made me a wonderful dinner last night, which fueled both my body and my soul. (In fact, I'm having the left over right now.) Everyone in the theater (cast, crew, creators, ushers, house, production) is always asking my progress, wondering if I'm alright. Most the time I can fake it, I'll respond with a smile and say, "I'm fine, getting better. Thanks for asking!"
Not until today did I realize I had been bottling up my sorrow. Hallie asked me in the women's dressing room if I was really alright, just her and I were in there, and my eyes nearly welt. I could tell she was trying to scratch the surface.
Then Gwynnie soon entered the room, my soul sister, and I just didn't want to loose it while I was at the theater, so I left the room and recanted to a lonely bathroom stall away from everyone else for some privacy. The presence of certain friends surely have a powerful effect sometimes, especially when words haven't yet been exchanged.
I think Tamara and Marlyn most have convened. If not actually, then spiritually. I respect their talents so much and pretty much trust most everything of what they say when it comes to their crafts. On separate occasions during the day, they both made a comment that I should talk to Diqui James, the artistic director, directly so he knows exactly what's going on. It was the hierarchy of angels working again (sometimes the younger ones call you to get to speak the older ones... hmmmm...). Like C.S. Lewis said, we're spirits having a physical experience.
So when I mustered up the confidence and energy, I went upstairs to the theater to see if Diqui had a moment to spare. We caught eyes, cool, and I had hoped that he'd come towards my direction when he was done with his meeting, and he did!
As soon as he came walking towards me, I smiled. "Diqui, I just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry I'm injured right now." Before I could finish the sentence, my eyes overflowed with tears. I couldn't believe I was crying. I thought I was strong, but I had no idea my barrier would come crashing down. I sort of couldn't believe I was having this moment right then. I didn't expect to cry while I was talking to Diqui, it just sort of happened.
I felt so lucky that our artistic director was super cool AND human AND gave me a hug as I cried. "I hate feeling like this," I said in a strange voice, "I hate being injured."
His response was, "Yes, I know. Its so hard to be human sometimes. We want to be super heros, but sometimes we are only human." That made me laugh. "I've been injured too. I understand what you must be going through." I believed him.
I must admit that being injured is embarrassing to me. Its so awkward. When you're put in a situation where you're expected to perform with the cream of the crop, the selected few, and you fall under because your body can't provide you with the actions you really want to be doing, its maddening to all hell!
I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I have accept this experience somehow. I just have to go through with it. If my perspective should be equated with C.S. Lewis' idea, then I have to look around and attempt to see the bigger picture. In essence, create my philosophy, I guess.
Maybe I'll get to perform tomorrow. Maybe I won't. Maybe I won't perform until after we open on Oct. 24. I'd love to make the assumption of when, but I guess I'm not the one who makes that call am I.
I'm not the first to have an injury, nor will I be the last. In fact, my brother and my nephew are injured right now too. They both are going through a surgical process to heal their sport injuries. Why is this happening at the same time for my family? Its all part of life's process. Coincidence is a concept I try to read into. So I figured I must talk aloud about my experience because I don't know what else to do with these thoughts. Its important to me to be helpful to my family as well as my friends.
That moment of telling Diqui what was going on in my mind was so freeing. Injury is a part of life, my life, everyones life. Its an experience that humans go through, a thought that he reminded me of. Its these types of moments that us define as human, perhaps even define us as individuals and how we cope.
So I guess this is how I heal. I needed to communicate to someone I trusted what I was going through. It was what I needed to do to get better. This is how I delt with my problem.
Together, Diqui and I figured out a track in the show I could have once I was ready. We even discussed how my costume would help cover my taped ankle. When the conversation was over, I was satisfied. The mental weight of the injury had been lifted.
I've discovered that it may be important to share this problem, whoever's reading. Because once we can show each other that we're vulnerable, that we each have our breaking points, we can teach each other how to move forward, how to get better and work better.
Lastly, when I left the theater tonight, three Artistic Coordinators (trainers), Laura, Martin and Juan-Martin, were hanging outside the theater door. I told them that I might be back in the show tomorrow. They where happy for my optimism, and politely said, "...if not, then wait. That's OK too."
Monday, October 15, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
INFATUATION
sipping an actual coconut on Ludlow during a full moon
hearing a rock star cellist play down the street with one of my best friend's singing
looking around the room and knowing I have a rich history with every gorgeous face
piling up in the bathtub in the kitchen
being interviewed on a fire escape
two buck chuck is three buck chuck and somehow I love it more
riding a beach cruiser to a playground...aka work.
trying to figure what color to paint the walls
iChatting my roommate while we're both home
cracking up with my best friends for no reason at all and having my abs ache
hearing my friends speak broken Spanish
hearing my friends speak broken English
seeing Oz run up to me and screaming my name on 1st Ave
sitting on a street bench and watching my friends walk up with a huge smile
watching a few leaves turn yellow
feeling the air getting crisp
sitting on the sidewalk and hearing my friend talk about her birth mom
having the ability to buy a cupcake and a guitar across the street
making plans to go dancing on a weekday
smelling a rose on my kitchen table
getting a pepperoni slice whenever I want
ordering at Republic and thinking we'll buy some clothes too
argueing with an old friend because I don't call enough
knowing there was an elephant in Dumbo over the weekend
knowing there's going to be camels in midtown for Christmas
being invited to plays and sitting in the first row
knowing I can walk to my best friends' apartment for dinner
discussing keychain organization on a beach
driving to a beach to surf and sleeping on the bag instead
waking up to three friends telling surf stories and still in their wetsuits
piling up in a car from Brooklyn and ducking when the cops drive by
telling new friends about my star ring
exchanging piercing stories
sharing 9/11 stories
creating workshops
wearing flip flops with jeans
learning three chords
looking at the pictures taken yesterday on someone else's camera or iPhone
knowing I can do this again tomorrow
ahhhhh...NYC. I've missed you.
hearing a rock star cellist play down the street with one of my best friend's singing
looking around the room and knowing I have a rich history with every gorgeous face
piling up in the bathtub in the kitchen
being interviewed on a fire escape
two buck chuck is three buck chuck and somehow I love it more
riding a beach cruiser to a playground...aka work.
trying to figure what color to paint the walls
iChatting my roommate while we're both home
cracking up with my best friends for no reason at all and having my abs ache
hearing my friends speak broken Spanish
hearing my friends speak broken English
seeing Oz run up to me and screaming my name on 1st Ave
sitting on a street bench and watching my friends walk up with a huge smile
watching a few leaves turn yellow
feeling the air getting crisp
sitting on the sidewalk and hearing my friend talk about her birth mom
having the ability to buy a cupcake and a guitar across the street
making plans to go dancing on a weekday
smelling a rose on my kitchen table
getting a pepperoni slice whenever I want
ordering at Republic and thinking we'll buy some clothes too
argueing with an old friend because I don't call enough
knowing there was an elephant in Dumbo over the weekend
knowing there's going to be camels in midtown for Christmas
being invited to plays and sitting in the first row
knowing I can walk to my best friends' apartment for dinner
discussing keychain organization on a beach
driving to a beach to surf and sleeping on the bag instead
waking up to three friends telling surf stories and still in their wetsuits
piling up in a car from Brooklyn and ducking when the cops drive by
telling new friends about my star ring
exchanging piercing stories
sharing 9/11 stories
creating workshops
wearing flip flops with jeans
learning three chords
looking at the pictures taken yesterday on someone else's camera or iPhone
knowing I can do this again tomorrow
ahhhhh...NYC. I've missed you.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Today I'm cool...why?
I drove into the CBS parking lot with my top down in my red convertable Mustang GT (OK, its not mine, its a rental, and its freakin GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!). The entire lot at every stage was full. My boss sees me driving around looking for a spot and says, "Stay right here, I'll make you a spot." Huh? The head carpenter and site supervisor walk out of the sound stage and pull out the keys to 2 scissor lifts parked right outside the doors just to make room for me and Mustang. Aren't they sweet!
So that's why I felt cool today.
So that's why I felt cool today.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Surfing with Brooke
There was a change in her voice that made me think this evening. She added a sense of urgency to it. She told me I have to ask the right questions to get the answers to move forward. I'm so used to playing "Classic Rose", the one that procrastinates and just rides the big wave when it comes, waiting until the last possible second to pop up. Some, correction, I mean A LOT of action needs to take place in the next few weeks. Gees, only a few more weeks. I can count those weeks on one hand.
5
4
3
2
1
go.
5
4
3
2
1
go.
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